Just Friends??? YEA OK!

Ok so I will cut to the chase here. I have been burned obviously from many things in my life. The hardest to get passed is the emotional cheating that destroyed my trust and heart. When they say it is worse than a one night stand they are right! I am still broken from my ex's "friendships" which he continues now. OH and not just with one girl. His BFFs are always another woman.

So what is an emotional affair??
 WIKIPEDIA says:
An "emotional affair" is an affair which excludes physical intimacy, and is usually based on emotional intimacy. An emotional affair can also be referred to as an affair of the heart. It is a phenomenon that is not limited to married couples, affecting people in serious relationships of every type. An emotional affair may begin innocently as a friendship with a person outside the relationship. Over time, the partner becomes infatuated, obsessed in some cases, with this friend - and eventually tries to become friendlier, spending more time with him or her at the cost of the relationship that person is already in. Where one partner is in a committed monogamous relationship, irrespective of whether marriage is planned or not, and irrespective of if the couple is already married or not, an emotional affair can be considered a type of chaste nonmonogamy without consummation. When the affair breaches an agreement in the monogamous relationship of one of the partners to the affair, the term infidelity may be more apt.

SO...How many go through this? It seems so abundant with technology, Facebook and the internet in general right? Well imagine if it was he ex-girlfriend, his first love and lived only a couple miles away!! Yea not fun!
Imagine that she would make your boyfriend her child's Godfather on your first Valentines Day together as a real couple who now live together and share a home and family. Now imagine his response to you when you say it hurts and is completely disrespectful to be " BUT I am honored". Imagine the constant phone calls, texts and plans they make together then him asking if you want to go too.
That is just the tip of the iceburg. I could give dozens more situations. I was even told its okay to cuddle his female friends and sleep next to them. (meanwhile I am home crying)
Emotional Affairs truly destroy a woman's self esteem. They make you feel lonely inside of a relationship. It leads us to question ourselves and our worth. It is an affair of the heart.

When you tell someone who says they love you and want to marry you and you share a home together then your feelings need to matter. They are real even if someone else thinks they are an opinion. No one should overstep the boundries that are supposed to be automatically in place when a commitment is made especially another woman {in my case}.
So what do you do??  I tried to talk to her. Set boundries. That was a joke. I talked, yelled, cried and wrote my needs to stop this with my boyfriend. Joke number 2. I left and came back with temporary change..or just good hiding. i have heard "you should trust me and love me for me", "I never asked you to change" and "WE ARE JUST FRIENDS". Sorry friends don't help destroy your family and break you woman's heart!

Now question is how  do I fix myself after this? How do I let go of the angry which comes from hurt? How do I trust anyone anymore especially when I was never given acknowledgement for my hurt or for what was done to me?

These are the answers I seek this year. This is why I am cleansing myself, my home and my spirit. It is a new journey that only I can take. No one knows your heart but you. I know I will never settle for less than I deserve and that I deserve more than that. I tell myself this daily. I am remembering my value and worth. I am re-finding ME! I am an amazing person. I can survive anything (and have) and still laugh, love and see beauty in things. A broken heart does not mean I am broken. Not being loved the right ways before does not mean I wont be in my future. I take these painful lessons and carry them with me as a way to remember the strength I have to keep moving forward and not letting go of myself in the process.



 Here are a few links that may help if you are struggling with a broken heart, trust or relationship.
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/02/18/10-tips-to-mend-a-broken-heart/
 http://shushann.com/archives/healing-after-betrayal-is-it-possible/
.http://www.ehow.com/how_7361076_heal-marriage-after-infidelity.html